The other maladies

Depression does not come alone!!!!
As I struggle with depression I also struggle with upset tummy, weakness, dizziness, tingling of hands and legs, numbness, foggy head or light head, sleeping hands, tinnitus among others. On year 2010 I added another woo to my life, the pancreatitis which will trouble me twice every year and from that year on depression will be my only-death-separate-apart company. In programming we call never ending loop and a circular reference. Pancreatitis and depression have circular reference in my life. Pancreatitis makes me depressed and when I get depressed I get Pancreatitis. What does that mean? Well!!! that means there is always one or the other to live with.
As I struggled with depression here in Australia and started seeing the "Australian" psychiatrist he suggested the other physical problems like tingling hands, burning palms, feeling of chill might not be depression and he infact authoritatively said its not depression and asked me to see a physician. There was this Chinese physician we didn't know where is Nepal despite the country lying at its border, yeah but China is a big country and what is there in remembering who your neighbour are? I didn't have a good impression of her but there was no option. On an usual sad day I dragged myself to the physician and surprisingly I found her good this time, probably again the state of mind. She asked me to do a blood test which I abided. Then few days later I was recognised with Vitamin B12 deficiency. She said the burning sensation in palms and feet and tingling were all related to deficient Vitamin B12. She suggested because I was vegetarian I was not getting enough vitamin B12 and asked me to get injection every week for fist month and once fortnightly later. Who disobeys the doctor? I bought the injection and scheduled myself to be pricked the next day. After the frequent visit of pancreatitis my body has developed a kind of likening for needles. I must have had more than 500 needles inserted into my skin in just last three years.
I rushed home and see what does this Vitamin B12 really mean. To my surprise a person with Vitamin B12 deficiency is most likely to have all the symptoms that I had including depression. Ah!! may be my depression was because of Vitamin B12 deficiency, there came a hope. If for some reason I could alleviate my Vitamin B12 I might get rid of depression but how could I have such deficiency. I was told because I was a vegetarian. But I ate fish regularly and I also ate egg (atleast once a week). Doctor Google suggested that the frequent pancreatitis could have exhausted my vitamin B12. Then there was one unique pattern in my depression and stomach. I often fall back into depression when my stomach is upset. This week my tummy has been really weak. I have to go to toilet atleast 5-6 times a day and still it feels I need to go again. OK I might have IBS too and that could have exhausted my Vitamin B12.
For almost two weeks I was close to normal and that is when I neglected the Vitamin B12 shots and this week followed. 
I saw correlation between depression and Vitamin B12, so seeing a light at the end of tunnel I bought a bottle of Vitamin B12 supplements which I have started from yesterday. This might be just another futile attempt but like every other time I want to try unless the suicidal urge makes me do otherwise.